Poem

I wrote this on a cliff in Polzeath last June/July. It was meant to be a song, but I can't find a tune so... poem it is. The photo was taken at the same place, similar time.

The Next Horizon
I wonder how far it is
To the next horizon
The gap between my fingers
Makes it seem so very small

The sea could push for miles
Until the clouds gave way
But the distance inbetween
I can't judge at all

The earth's constant curve
That keeps you out of sight
Can hide you from my eyes
Yet you stay in my mind

A lonely seagull
Could cover it in seconds
- or would it take years?
But I get left behind

The sunlight on the water
Nearly blinds my eyes
I gaze into the distance
Seeking your face

The sky reflects my wonder
The sun sinks out of sight
The last rays fade away
And I stay
Staring into space.

A.D.H: The Residents

A.D.H: The Residents
At present there are twenty-two residents in A.D.H, and we have another baby Ghali on the way.
There are a few criteria you must fit in order to live in a Christian community:
You need a faith in God and a relationship with Jesus.
You need to be willing to serve others.
You need to be able to pay the rent.
You need to learn not to be too fussy about not eating healthily.
You need to be able to give into community and recieve back from it. This does not mean stealing people's stuff.
You need to be a quick learner.
You need to know how to throw up your food without anyone noticing.
You need to know the words to all the happy-clappy eighties Graham Kendrick songs.
You need to know how to use a tea-towel properly.
When all else fails, you need to be able to run like a cheetah.

Funnily enough, most of our residents only make the first three.

A.D.H. is a community of variation. We've got Rami who is Egyptian, Esther who was born and raised in India and Rhys who is half-Finnish-half Welsh which I suppose makes us multi-cultural. We've got nearly-baby Ghali who can't be bigger than a foot, and Rhys (again) who must be 6"4 or more. We've got Northerners, Southeners, Easteners and Westeners. In fact we managed to marry off our head Northerner last summer, which was a relief. We've also got Sally, who spent nearly two years in Burundi and has been many, many wild and exotic places including India, Indonesia, Sudan, Afghanistan, Scotland, Brighton...
And we've got Richard, who is "in charge of China."
We've had health-freaks, lardos, people who actually like lemon squash and everyone else in between.

Despite these differences, A.D.H. is a community of love. For example, everyone here loves to eat. Most people love it when they can excuse not washing up. I love guitars.

Anyway, this isn't about love. I'll take you through the current inhabitants, shall I?
[DISCLAIMER: The descriptions are just a few words or phrases that spring to mind as I type do not represent my actual view of an individual and should not be used to make any assumptions about the individual]

Rami, Tracy and Daniel Ghali - a young family. Cheerful, kindly. One half is slightly scatty.
Sally - Active, thoughtful, likes picking fights with people.
Rich - Tall, cool, wind-farm obsessive.
Simon - Humble, cheerful, graduate.
John D - Not-so-tall, everyone's sibling, musician
Lois - Works all the time. Can't stop cleaning.
Esther-Belle - Arty, children's worker, mess.
Byron - Has an anecdote for every occasion. Musician. Quality bloke.
Ben and Nomes - Still a farily new couple. Both lovely people but can't avoid the odd lover's tiff.
Esther-Lou - Dippy, very lovely, creative. Over-indulges in young men.
Dave and Tina - Wise, all-knowing-all-seeing. Not old, honest.
Rhys - New kid on the block. Multi-lingual. Seems like a caring, kindly guy.
Perran and Ben - not quite opposites but nearly. Youngest two Mitchells. One is calm like a bomb, the other explodes like a bomb frequently. Both very sporty, quite arty.
Joey - Maturing pretty quick, though has retained temper of his mother. Joker.

And of course me... if you haven't worked me out yet, go back and read the rest of the blog. or invite me out for dinner.

Update - X&Y: Coldplay

It hasn't been that long since I last posted (in relative terms) but I've been so damn busy I feel like I should let the people know. And anyway, the business may well continue.
I spent an extended weekend in the company of Rosa (pretty much) which was good fun. And I don't think she's sick of me, which is great.
I got four hours sleep on Saturday night and was playing guitar at Woodies that morning, which was fun. I felt it went well though.
I've committed to helping lead worship on Thurdsay (Fuse), Friday (devotion), Sunday morning (Henleaze Church) and Sunday evening (Woodlands Church). Interesting, no?
The "extended weekend" was basically a series of events (Fuse film night, devotion guest meal, babysitting, church, homegroup tea) which were for the most part really good fun. Late, though. Tiring.
The only "breaks" were:
- Between the Fuse film night and the devotion meal, where I went with my history class to Wales. The places we visited were interesting, some of the company was good, but the people I was directly with - my friends - made it quite hellish as most of them were in seriously annoying moods.
- Between the devotion meal and babysitting, which was spent working on my English essay.

Anyway, I don't currently have a free evening for the next twenty-three years and that's the kind of thing I've been up to.
I will shortly publish another article about life in A.D.H, this time with a specific focus.

You can't wait, can you?

Community: Overview

Community and The House: an overview:
Community living is not all fun and games; we have to sleep sometimes. However, I can truly say - hand on heart, fingers crossed and all that - that the happiest years of my life have been spent behind bars. No! Behind A.D.H's grand walls.
Scripture mentions the positive aspects of being a body of believers, sharing everything. While we - as 21st Century Christians - don't take that to the extreme, we do share daily meals, washing machines and a large Georgian mansion.
There are currently twenty-two inhabitants at A.D.H, with another young Ghali due any minute now. Over the last ten years I have probably eaten as many hot dinners as I will in the next ten years, and that is completely irrelevant. There has always been between twenty and twenty-five people living here - at one time I believe we may even have stretched that to twenty-seven - of a variety of ages, sizes and backgrounds. A recent investigation showed the current average household age to be around twenty-eight, the range being forty-five and the oldest resident definitely not being Byron Jones.
Besides the Mitchell family the longest serving inmates are the Barrows (Debbie Barrow, 46, and her son Mark, 21) who arrived perhaps one month after the Mitchells had settled. If you ask them to tell you the highlights of their lives at A.D.H. they will probably remain silent. The Barrows actually reside in the "Dog House" - a converted coach-house adjacent to the house but inacessable from inside.
Young Daniel Ghali, aged two "and-a-bit" (I love the way they stop saying that once you hit thirty) is the youngest resident. The general opinion of the house is that he should have been named Charlie. His parents, Rami and Tracy Ghali, have moved in and out of A.D.H. numerous times, sometimes forgetting to even take their possesions with them. They inhabit the highest reaches of The Top Floor, away from the hustle and bustle of busy A.D.H. life which is why their second child is due to be born soon.

Out of the many positive aspects of community living, there are two I would single out as being especially good:
Firstly, you only have to cook dinner once every fortnight.
Secondly, you only have to do one twentieth of the household chores.
The only noticable disadvantage is that the magnitude of cooking and cleaning is really rather large.

I should probably point out that living in a mansion is also rather fun (despite the fact that father is refusing to let us dig a swimming pool).

Missing Bear

MISSING BEAR

A World Of Violence - Lucky: Radiohead

My friend Timmy has once again provoked my blogging mind with his posts about the Jack Thompson affair and the whole "Computer games and violence" issue.
Having read up on the articles Timmy links to (which although in favour of gamers do show Jack's arguments in full) I have come up with some points.
Obviously violent computer games do seem to endorse violence. However, having played "violent" games myself (eg. Halo, MGS, GTA) where the character's principle role is killing, I have never felt the urge to go out and shoot somebody in the head.
Also, it seems to me that the countries where child soldiers, contract-killers and gangsters are most frequent are countries where the children won't be able to afford computer games, computers or televisions.
Now obviously there are some games in which the level of violence is quite ridiculous. However, even in games like GTA, where you are not a "good-guy" character, the gameplay is nothing like a real life situation and there is nothing to inspire a sane, stable person to go out and commit homicide.
As for the gamers, they themselves agree that young children should not play violent games, just as they "should not view pornography or watch violent movies." It is the same principle. Certainly parents need to take an active role in what they allow there children to watch and play.
Certainly people registered as vulnerable or mentally unstable should not be allowed to play certain games.
Certainly game companies should not promote random acts of violence - personally I think that making a game's character the "good guy" would make a serious difference on how the game was portrayed and seen by gamers. Having said that, my friend Timmy probably plays games where he is the "bad guy" and he's never gone out and killed somebody.
Although his pet chinchillas all died in mysterious circumstances...

Anyway, those are just some thoughts. Read up on the whole Jack Thompson thing, it's quite interesting.

An unrelated thought is that, having long ago scrapped that fictional diary thing, I might begin entering occasional passages about community life, specifically in A.D.H.
I like to have another focus aside from myself every now and then...

Sit Back And Watch the Rain - Earth Song: Michael Jackson

Made up on the spot a few minutes ago... could do with some work...

Today, as with every day
We'll lead or lives again
And go along with the joy,
The laughter and the pain
We live without a focus
Life can feel so mundane
Why don't we take some time out
To sit and watch the rain

Let go of our sorrows
Revel in our peace
Rest our aching limbs
Let broken souls be released
Watch our hurt get washed away
Like muddy water down the drain
Take some time to sit back,
To sit back and watch the rain

Work and play and everything
We use to entertain
And keep ourselves in line
With the rational and the sane
Why fight a losing battle?
Why try and take the strain?
Let go of any hinderances,
Sit back and watch the rain

Stood Up - No Suprises: Radiohead

I got stood up my my guitar pupil. By mistake, I'm sure.
And I was feeling really depressed this lunchtime... not enough to do, and was feeling ill I suppose.
Meh.
I'm trying to only keep this as 20% or less diary, but let's face it, what the hell else do I know about but myself?

Me and Rosa talked on Sunday. It was interesting.

That is all for now.

Just Another Day - Please: U2

And I'm so feeling it.
I was asked to talk about worship for a couple of minutes at devotion on Friday - not the easiest thing to do, because I don't like to minimalise anything, especially not God-stuff.
I was thinking on the spot, and what I came up with is that worship is being in a place of instinctive outpouring to God and that worshipping through music is part of getting to that place and then staying there.
Kind of.
I also added that I feel like worshipping in my heart - not out loud or anything - at certain times eg. when I see something really amazing or hear some really beautiful music. That whole malarky.
And in retrospect, I said something I still agree with.
I think.

I'm not in a very decisive mood today.

RE: Ultimate Ambition

I've just realised that if I was to ever complete a work of something, it would be neither intellectual nor beautiful: it would be silly.

Heretical, possibly...

More Goldfish - Sing For Absolution: Muse

A story to make Rosa, who is pain, raise one eyebrow and exclaim "Weirdo." Yes, it is about goldfish.

One time there was a goldfish called Jimmy. He lived in a tank with three other goldfish (his friends Jack, John and Jeremy), and they would regularly patrol the borders of Goldfishland, shelling the enemy fortifications and sometimes buying flowers for their mothers who were very old and frail and would stay up long into the night worrying about the safety and marital status of their young sons.
Now, it came to pass that Jimmy fell in love with a beautiful young Goldfish called Jane. He met her while on duty shooting rebels at the border town, and was immediately awed by here beautiful eyes and shiny silver scales. She in turn fell for him, not because of his looks - fairly pond-standard - but because she had always wanted a man in uniform. And because he had lots of money.
Alas, the depth of tragedy in this tale is about to be revealed: Jeremy, who was like a brother to Jimmy (they fought a lot) also fell for the beautiful Jane. He sat up late into the night, writing her love-letters and saying her name over and over and over again until he drove his room-mate to suicide. Jeremy had all the qualities that Jimmy had (money and officer status), and more - he was a charmer and a handsome young fish, with fine fiery-orange scales.
Jimmy and Jeremy, old friends and comrades, were divided over Jane. At first, they did not speak of it. However, when they were in her company they would vie for her attention, persisting with more and more dangerous pranks - Jimmy would swallow a killer-whale, in return Jeremy would cut himself in half with a blunt tea-spoon.
Finally, Jane could bear it no longer. After three-hundred and four million weeks of this behaviour, she put her foot down. "Enough," she cried. "I cannot love you both. You are both wondeful fish, but the truth is... there is another in my life. I am to wed Johnny."At first, Jimmy and Jeremy were outraged. But then it dawned on them. "Oh my, I've been so stupid," stuttered Jeremy.
"Yes, yes you have," agreed Jimmy. And the old friends embraced and wept for three days.
A week down the line, Jane and Johnny are married. The four comrades (Jimmy, Jeremy, Johnny and the other one) were back to their old matey ways, thoughtlessly bombing enemy towns and shooting innocent civillians. And Jimmy and Jeremy had both found themselves partners, two beautiful young goldfish - both called Jess for convenience.
And they all lived happily ever after...
...and you know the rest.

Ultimate Ambition - To Repel Ghosts: The Manic Street Preachers

I've been thinking about where I focus my efforts in life, especially my creative efforts. It came to my mind that though I would love to create something intelligent and intellectual, I would prefer to make something beautiful.
I suppose this applies to my entire life, but I was specifically thinking about song-writing and story-writing. I have ideas for incredibly technical, political songs, lyrics and stories. However, the idea of actually creating them is rather daunting, especially as I can see no long-term benefit besides self-satisfaction. Writing beautiful songs and stories, however, feels more exciting to me; not that I'd be any good at actually completing them (or the intellectual stuff, for that matter).
Both options are incredibly appealing, but I think that my ultimate life ambition would be to write really genuinely beautiful songs, stories and poems.

And on that note, I should go back to my Ethics work which inspired this whole thought process (thinking about how I could write a philisophical book - the intellectual rather than beautiful side of creativity). Enough!

So Cold - Lucky: Radiohead

The number of posts per week has diminished, reason being I do not wish to bore my readers. However, I thought I'd just bring things up to speed:
I'm cold.

That is all.

On The Pogues - What If: Coldplay

A brilliant band in many aspects. Beautiful melodies, rich and moving lyrics, a unique vocal sound.
I suppose you could sum them up with the title of their album "Rum, Sodomy and The Lash."
Pretty much the content of every song.
Having said that, Shane MacGowan (singer/songwriter) has also come up with some true beauties (see Summer In Siam, below) that actually manage to aviod the subjects altogether.
They have something for everyone (if you like rum, sodomy... hang on).

Just thought I should mention them, you know...

Remembering - Scar Tissue: The Red Hot Chili Peppers

You know when you say you'll remember something, so you don't make a note of it... and then completely forget it?
My life is like that at the moment.
I used to have a really good memory and sense of routine, and would get everything done on time, in order, etc., etc.
But no more...

And I keep forgetting what I was "intending" to write on my blog.

"Just" - Sunburn: Muse

I've noticed that, especially when I'm praying, I use the word "just" as a filler - say, for when other people would use "er," "um" or "tssh." It sounds like I'm minimalising everything - "Lord, just give us..." or Thank-you that he's just..." - see what I mean? I may have to stop.

Summer In Siam: The Pogues

Summer In Siam

When it's Summer in Siam
And the moon is full of rainbows
When it's Summer in Siam
And we go through many changes
When it's Summer in Siam
Then all I really know
Is that I truly am
In the Summer in Siam
(In the Summer in Siam )
(In the Summer in Siam )

Place of Peace

This is my place of peace;
Here is the ocean, and far away from everywhere it is shallow and calm
Here the sun shines down, a hole in the clouds
The water is warm and I can stand maybe waist deep
There are others who swim with me, and they are smiling
There are dolphins, and small fish, and many colours
The sand is soft beneath my feet
And my heart and mind still.

Frustration - Where The Streets Have No Name: U2

I am rather frustrated at the way our teachers are making us work. They are spreading things that could easily be completed within an hour over the space of a week by dividing them up into smaller tasks and setting them at odd times. Ridiculous.

Also I am tired and cold and on an ugly day. Meh and much mehing.

A State Of Clumsiness - Alabama: Neil Young

I have succumed to a state of clumsiness. Here are some clusmy things I have done in the last 3 days:

- Hit my head on my own light whilst climbing into bed (easier than it sounds, actually)
- Tripped over my own feet, my school bag, a chair, a step and the floor (often more than once)
- Put down a cup of hot-chocolate but left my hand in the handle; when I went to walk away I pulled the cup with me, covering myself in burning hot-chocolateyness.
- Jumped out of bed at some ridiculously early hour and cunningly avoided walking into a chair by instead walking into (and tripping over) a coffee table.
- Went to sit down on desk-chair and swivelled it so that I sat down on the floor, sideways.

And many, many more.

Meh.