Y-E-S

Ever wondered who those weird guys I hang out with are?
Now you know. And the truth is,
I'M THE WORST! HAHA!

I'll fix those vids in the morning, gotta go sleepies now. It's been a very long day.

Roundup

OW!

note to self: loud weekly band practices in a room built entirely of stone = bad idea

*riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing*

Robipedia

Adam Sandler: Apparently he's an "actor." Well, I sure hope he is acting because if he's like that in real life I feel sorry for the guy.

He was in that film with the guy that beats everyone up in golf... think it was about George Bush senior...

Important Post From My MySpace Blog

i'm out of control
that implies i'm drunk or stoned or mental or something. i'm neither of those (not that it would make any difference whatsoever).

point is, we're moving through Free Dreams now partly cuz i like this song and want you to hear it (it's been scratched off Follow Your Heart so unless you get a copy of Free Dreams you probably won't hear it. except you will cuz it's on my MySpace - catch my drift?)

so anyway, the release of FYH is imminent but not on schedule (not on the old schedule anyway). the new schedule says october the somethingth and i can work with that. i've cut it down to 10 tracks cuz i didn't want to bore you all (not that i ever could) but don't worry, they're 10 bloody good ones and i've been re-mastering them and things so they sound even bloody gooder. and, uh... i've lost my flow. something about...

anyway, watch this space. studio work is going great, one more session left (i hope - if not i'll be bankrupt). rock me on down, y-e-s.

Save The Wales

I'm thinking, seeing as I'm such an animal lover and all, I'm toying with the idea of starting a "Save The Wales" campaign. Start with a website, progress to bumper-stickers, slogans, petitions etcetera... and then take over the world.

Well, the world thing is the end incentive, but it is shocking and disgusting how many Wales get killed a day and I'm determined to do something about it.

rainy day

Old Man Dave's Birthday

Robipedia

Procrastination: I know it's been a while, but I'll update this one later








I definitely did not steal that joke

hotel ashley-down

Studio Session #2

I've actually had quite a few people asking me how the first ses' went so here's the update:

brilliant!

We now have funky bass, thuddy-thuddy drums, meaty guitar, less meaty guitar and not vocals or mixing yet because that will be next. So the backing tracks are nearly done (apart from mixing and editing) and they sound great! They really do.
Y-e-s

Anyway I'm knackered and I've got an essay to write so I'll probably write another post in about three minutes.

Seeing As We're On A Roll...

A guy called "J. Ivy" raps this as part of a Kanye West song (Never Let Me Down). No idea who he is, but he's pretty much summed up why I write songs:

I'm not just another individual, my spirit is a part of this
That's why I get spiritual, but I get my hymns from Him
So it's not me, it's He that's lyrical
I'm not a miracle, I'm a heaven-sent instrument
My rhythmatic regimen navigates melodic notes for your soul and your mental
That's why I'm instrumental...
...And when these words are found
Let it been known that God's penmanship has been signed with a language called love
That's why my breath is felt by the deaf
And why my words are heard and confined to the ears of the blind
I, too, dream in color and in rhyme
So I guess I'm one of a kind in a full house
Cuz whenever I open my heart, my soul, or my mouth
A touch of God rains out

The Gates Of That Mansion

I try not to do this (if nothing else, it's cheating) but I've been re-listening to this song (The Playboy Mansion by U2) recently and the lyrics are just so good. So have a read:

If coke is a mystery
Michael Jackson, history
If beauty is truth
And surgery the fountain of youth...
What am I to do?
Have I got the gifts to get me through
The gates of that mansion?

If O.J. is more than a drink
And a Big Mac bigger than you think
And perfume is an obsession
And talk shows, confessions...
What have we got to lose?
Another push and we'll be through
The gates of that mansion.

I never bought a lotto ticket
I never parked in anyone's space.
The banks they're like cathedrals
I guess casinos took their place.

Love, come on down
Don't wake her she'll come around.

Chance is a kind of religion
Where you're damned for plain hard luck.
I never did see that movie
I never did read that book.
Love, come on down
Let my numbers come around.

Don't know if I can hold on
Don't know if I'm that strong.
Don't know if I can wait that long
Till the colours come flashing
And the lights go on.

Then will there be no time for sorrow
Then will there be no time for shame
Though I can't say why
I know I've got to believe.

We'll go diving in that pool
It's who you know that gets you through
The gates of the playboy mansion.

Then will there be no time for sorrow
Then will there be no time for shame
Then will there be now time for shame
Then will there be now time for pain

"My Life, The .MOV"

Coming soon!

A new project of mine, just for the hell of it I'm gonna record my life story in a series of 10-minute episodes and stick 'em online.
Can't do it now though because I'm flipping busy and pushed for time as it is. I can't believe they expect me to do school work along with all my other important life things, gosh.
WATCH THIS SPACE

Well, don't literally just do that because it would be very boring for you and I don't want to impose unnecessary boredom where it's not needed. But maybe if you're feeling angry a good way to "chill" would be to watch this space and perhaps think about nice things like birds and flowers. And chocolate. Chocolate is definitely a nice thing. It may do bad things to your heart in the long run (with excess consumption, it should be added - and let's face it, excess consumption of anything can be destructive) but in the short-term it is a Godsend. Well I suppose it is, as God made the earth and everything in it, and as every good and perfect gift comes from Him. So anyway, this one time on band camp...

ah yes, essay

The End Of An Era

: o

That's all I've got to say.

Well, no it isn't. I've got a hellofa lot to say; I just ended by unbroken run of wins at Texas Hold'em. We had to end the game as it was gonna go on forever, and Mr Edward Burke beat me 932 - 902. Thirty points in it. I could cry. The thing is, on the last round he raised me 100 - if I'd folded I'd have won. BUT I DIDN'T - that's the crucial thing. And it hurts deep. Real deep.

The good thing is that it was Ed that won, bless 'im, and you have to take pity on him because of his surname. And more to the point he's a good bloke and doesn't gloat much (unlike me) and also he won't waste it on women and wine because he's not single. And he is a worthy opponent, unlike the rest of the table who were a bunch of riff-raff (yes Joey, riff-raff).

I'm gonna shut up now before I get lynched

Robipedia

Reviser's Block: That feeling you get when you have to revise/write an essay/wht-vr and you just can't. You can't sit still, you can't pay attention to what you're doing, your mind goes completely blank and you just wanna throw yourself out of the nearest window, ram your head through the monitor or anything to escape the now hellish task that you have to complete in the next hour or else.

sporting casualty

striker!

The Blog That Never Sleeps

A while back, Tim left me a comment saying "You post too much." I was contemplating it for a while - even considering it possible that I'd actually drowned all my readers in a torrent of drivel - but I've actually decided that I don't post more words per week than most other bloggers. I post shorter (and more important) posts more regularly.

OK I might post slightly more than your average bear, but that's because I have more important things to say.

Well, it's all relative isn't it?

Afterthought

I am generally more effective than condoms; that does not mean that I'd be more effective as a condom.

Condoms

I've decided that I'm better than condoms.
After a semi-heated debate in Philosophy today, it was concluded by the majority of those present (i.e. me) that I'm right at least 99.8% of the time. Now, condoms (as we also discussed) are only 99.7% effective. That means that I am .1% more effective than condoms.

I can see the t-shirt now: Robin Mitchell, .1% More Effective Than Condoms!

Robipedia

The Average Voter: According to Tim, "an idiot." I'd say this is a little extreme, though I can certainly see his point of view.

Coffee Art

I've decided that my Coffee and my Art are very similar: I can tell a good painting, and I can tell a good cup of coffee, but I can't make either. Just as my drawing skills are incredibly limited, so my coffee-making skills seem to fail me at every turn. I've tried less coffee, more coffee, different stirring techniques, different water temperatures... I've even tried adding soap for heaven's sakes! Nothing works, my coffee is always horrible (as with my drawings).

Note to self: never go into the "Analogy" business.

Robipedia

Poncho: What you do to someone you don't like.

Esther's Party

Sweet 19, aah.
Doesn't roll off the tongue but boy does it look good on paper.

Esther decided on having a Mexican theme (although for some reason the cake was decorated with the Italian tricolore) and so ponchos, pinyatas and pirates were high in quantity. It was a joyous event for many, a tragic day for some, and nothing much worth mentioning at all for others so I suppose in general 'twas a success. The only real loser was the Llama-pinyata who, after refusing to break for some time, was ruthlessly decapitated and then eaten by the angry mob.

Do you ever get it when you're at one of these events and it seems that you're being chatted up by someone you've known for ages? And then you have to be like, "No! Calm yourself, Uncle Bob!"

Well, never happens to me but the situation came to my mind...

So anyway, we were talking like pirates. Avast!

...

i didn't mean that either

...

I didn't mean that

It's sweet all the time!

Robipedia

Revenge: Never a good thing in the long-term. But damn does it taste sweet at the time.

Y'argh

I'm knackered

Life is hard

This just makes it all better

: (

Those of you that care about me, my feelings and my education read on! Those that don't, go here for funniness and a distinct lack of self-obsession.

I am very divided in my feelings about school staff: in the same sentence they try to help out and are very friendly and caring, but then they cock it all up.

They sat me down for a nice talk about my subjects and imply that I have to drop one, then it turns out my timetable is a complete muddle and I have no tutor sessions (hence no EMA) and I've been struck off the English Language list, no consulation.
I know I've been very brutal towards English, but there have been less-hellish elements to the course and it's one of my highest scoring subjects so to assume I'd cast it off so lightly (especially as they haven't even read my blog) is quite a step.

Robipedia

Frogger: Frogger is like Blogger, but for Frogs. Frogs can post their "webbedfrogs" about how much they hate life and how everyone else is wrong, and other Frogs can link with every word. Frogger sucks, by the way.

Argh!

(Not a pirate noise ^)
Do you ever get it when you launch very loudly into song just as someone walks past?

I am red like a royal flush.

It Never Rains

Anyone living in Bristol, UK will have just witnessed the biggest downpour of rain ever in the space of an hour, right?

I tell you what, I was just gonna write a post about how exhausted I am and about how I didn't feel like anything (work, relationships, life in general) was worth the effort. But the rain really gives you a shock, wakes you up.

Well, I can guarantee that (possibly my last ever) English Language will counter-act that...

A Rare Smile

for Barrie Bear, for some reason

just for the record

neither of those were photoshopped at all

proof enough that god exists

ps coldplay rock

We Gettin' A Hurricane

Well, tail of. Weather is dramatic anyhows:

Robipedia

Old Man Dave: To some, OMD is a wandering man who wanders from place to place and runs a church. To others he is a hippie-cum-biker fresh from the sixties with his pirate ear-ring (arr!). Only one thing is for certain: He's old, he's a man and he's called Dave.

Dropped A Subject

Had no choice.
There was a timetable merge, and it was between English and Philosophy.

English Language can officially go to hell.

(In a nice, loving way)

: )

Kitchen Quotes

From ADH Quoteboard (up since late spring/early summer I guess). Go see (.doc)

To Explain:

I'm as confused as you are

Yargh

For those of ye unaware, I be headin' to the studio tomorrow to record "Good Enough?," a five-track EP (one track already done, yarr) which won't be released officially. Bizarre, yes? No! If you have a copy of "The Good Enough? EP" you may claim a copy of "Good Enough?" - otherwise, just buy "Follow Your Heart," my upcoming LP which contains tracks from "Free Dreams" (which no-one will have heard as I didn't give it to anyone), "Better Than," (which a few people will have heard) and of course "Good Enough?"

So in short I be throwin' loads of titles at you and confusin y'all (and still speakin' like a pirate even though pirate day be over and ninjas be cooler than pirates, yargh).
So:

The "Good Enough?" EP - redundant old rubbish
The "Better Than" LP - LP released at beginning of summer
Free Dreams - LP released at end of summer
Good Enough? - EP recorded tomorrow (hopefully), to be given only to people with original (for now)
Follow Your Heart - compilation of other stuff, first "official" LP complete with nice cover and labels and such. Available for £2ish to cover studio costs, printing costs etcetera

Is He Being Ironic?

Is he? Is he?

Bloggers

I do find bloggers annoying! I've read a thousand and one rants on the subject, and I'm in total agreement. I think it's time I write one of my own: how much I hate bloggers!

I'm talking, of course, about people who actually refer to themselves as "bloggers," who make every friggin' word into a link, list endless websites, blogs etcetera in the sidebars that no-one can even read, talk mindless nonsense with out factual or moral grounding and even bitch about other bloggers in public. Idiots!

OK, I'm done.

=D

I'm So Getting This Done For Real

This *Still* Makes Me Laugh

Proof!

Just read the damn thing

So Much For My iTunes Protest

I made an account.

But only cuz I really wanted to download all the album artwork and scroll through it...

...


arr

Chat-Up Lines

Long story short we were reading through some "Best Chat-Up Line" cards at dinner. Here are my favourites:

What's got 148 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? - My zipper

Smile if you'll sleep with me

Bond. James Bond

Before you start running, I'm not a freak

Can I buy you a drink, or would you just prefer the money?

Arr, there's a tasty bit of booty and no mistake. Pieces of eight, arr

Avast, Me Hearties

As well as being ITLAP day, it's ESTHER'SBIRTH day

Robipedia

Pirates: Pirates are people who go on the internet and download music, movies, word documents, computer games, TVs, houses etc. "against the will" of the copyright holder. As September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day, I have decided to include some phrases these hip dudes use in their day to day:
"MP3"
"Gigabyte"
"Bit-torrent"
"Cascade"
"Keyboard"
"Bitrate"
"Sources"
"Mouse"
"Rat"
"Pirate"
"Lol"

Yargh

I totally missed out on "(Inter)National Talk Like A Pirate Day."
Arr.

Today

Annette (left) is a Dutch Aid worker who has been staying with us. She leaves for Iraq tomorrow morning.

iTunes 7

According to Timmy it's "old news" and "not that great," but I love the new look. It also comes with a few more helpful functions (though I still refuse to get an iTunes account on principle).

The thing is, though, it doesn't like Cubasis. Every time I have iTunes and Cubasis open everything goes screwy and the MP3s skip all over the place.

By the way, I am aware that by downloading iTunes upgrades I'm conforming to the consumer mentality and behaving like the sheep they want me to be. Here's some news for you: I don't care.

Robipedia

STFU: There are many acronyms in the world of text-speak and web-speak, and most are used to great effect when in an angry or dissatisfied context. STFU (Shut The Flip Up) is a brilliant acronym for asking someone to be silent, and saves the time that might have been spent writing "Stow thy lip" or other hushers. STFU has often been misinterpreted to mean something ruder: however, the truth is that many web-speak acronyms are misleading in that they imply that they are coarser in meaning than they really are. See "LOL."
STFU can also be manipulated to mean "stuff you." Again, not as rude as it could be.

OK, Point Taken, Now STFU

This kind of thing really angers me.

So the Pope says something that, depending on it's interpretation, could come across as Un-PC or offensive.
People get angry.
So he apologises.

END OF STORY, right?
No!

"Pope Benedict XVI's renewed apology for comments he made last week on
Islam has been welcomed by some Muslim groups but has failed to end the
anger."

Great, so what else can he do? Apologise again? Apologise again-again?

Apparently "The Muslim Council of Britain said the Pope's expression of regret was "exactly the reassurance many Muslims were looking for." Brilliant. So what is the problem? Why are certain groups proposing to hold a "week of anger?" What is wrong with these guys? It's like every time someone says something about Islam a group of radicals then go and prove it right!
If someone's apologised what more do you want? Behead the Pope! Great idea.

Computer says "LOL"

Damn you blogger! (they won't let me use javascript in posts)
Well, you can click here instead.

Yeah, I'm toying around with the simple joys of J/S at the moment. So sue me.

Now

I just deleted "Paradise Island" blog. You know, I will never make a career from Creative Writing. I'm too scared to try and think like someone else: I can write about people that are me and that's it. That's why all my stories suck (as well as lack of direction, theme, emotion etc.)

You'll be pleased to know that this is my 1000th post. I was hoping it would coincide with my 2 year Making-Sense-Of anniversary, but not so. Well, here's a depressing picture of me to celebrate my 1000th (and so I can link it in my profile).

Phases

As my dedicated readers will know, this blog is a blog of many phases (Bob and Larry, song lyrics, Zebra, Book of Wisdom, Robipedia to name but a few). A new phase I hope to continue with, in an attempt to "pretentiously art-up" my blog I will post some day-to-day photos every so often. Because after all, pictures can fill gaps that words can't quite complete.

Today

Robipedia

Bro: 18 - 24 year old male who wears Birkenstock sandals, watches Family Guy, plays ultimate frizbee and wears an upside-down visor or a baseball cap wit a pre-frayed brim. You know, a bro.

(thank you, Derrick)

House Meal

Every month there is a special evening set aside for a "house meal," where a special dinner is cooked and people in the house spend the evening together, socialising and also talking over important community issues.
Yesterday I went to my first ever House Meal, because I've fooled enough people into thinking I'm responsible or something. Heck, I don't even know what "responsible" means. I do know what "good food" means though, so I went.
Seriously though (I say that too much) I love my housemates and had a great time talking and... well, eating.

One of the major issues raised was that of the "transition period" our house is in (this same transition period is the reason I felt going along to House Meal to be honest) - a lot of people coming or going or thinking about moving on. It was very touching for me to hear various people that I have lived with for X amount of time sharing their hearts about what life holds for them in the future. It also made me realise that I might not be here this time next year. Life really is always on the move.

Power!

The internet provides a lot of power, and a fairly easy way to use it. I've been thinking: if every major website in the world (I'm thinking from Google through Blogger, Yahoo, Wikipedia, Microsoft, even... or all the ISPs... I dunno...) wanted to support a cause then they could easily all go on strike: either disconnect everyone, or leave banners up instead of their homepages.
Take the death penalty. It's so easy to make a difference. Think how much impact there would be if every major website closed down for a few weeks and put a "Stop the death penalty" banner as its homepage. Something would have to be done, and surely it's worth the cost of a few days for a good cause, a world-changing opportunity?

It's so damn hard to make a difference, but if you want to do it then it's a piece of cake.

Protege Plan Really Are The Funky Shizzle

We had our first proper practice since summer, and we really do rock the foundations (quite literally - we play in the cellar). We got through eight songs today, each one pretty much perfecto: we've got hard-rock, soft-rock, thrash-punk and plain funk and I'm damn excited about it.

Robipedia

Gerbils: The most pointless animals in existence. They're small, so they've got no meat on them; they don't taste good; they're boring - they just wander around and excrete on the floor; they aren't even multi-coloured (unless you throw paint at them - now that is fun). My brother Perran got Gerbils, and - don't get me wrong - they're very lovely and all...
Nah, I'm kidding. They're pointless too. He should play more exciting games with them, like "Gerbil rugby" or "Throw the Gerbil off the House Roof."

I love pets.

feel the fire (from a few weeks back)

Spiders

I think God is trying to tell me something through spiders.

Well, firstly I had this scary dream in which a spider repeatedly jumped at me. Then next day I saw spiders everywhere: the day after that I wrote about spiders, including pizza, then today I had a huge spider above the shower the whole time I was in the bathroom, and then in English Language we did a 8-page booklet... on spiders.

Hmm, as I was writing that I worked out what it was: I'm scared of spiders, and all the spiders led up to English Language (like in Harry Potter or something) so in conclusion I should be scared of English Language.

Which I already am.

Hmm... He moves in mysterious ways.

Tune It

Instruments are great, aren't they? What I love about acoustic instruments is how much upkeep they need, and how much attention. You can't just pick them up and play them any old how.

I tuned the drum kit today
Big Grin <<<
It sounds sooooooo much sweeter than it ever has (though that ain't saying much because it sounded trashy before) and made me realise once again how important it is to take care of your instruments (as I remember every time I put new strings on one of my guitars, which doesn't happen nearly enough).

Robipedia

Standing Wave: When a sound wave is caught perfectly between two surfaces and, as a consequence, doubles in volume. That's what causes those high-pitched ringing noises you get when it feels like someone is drilling into your skull. Or is that aliens? Can't remember which is which...

The Internet Is Free

Or is it? Or should it be?
I was reading about the Dawson's College Shootings, and just browsing Wikipedia it's crazy how many links get thrown up, how much stuff there is to read, how much manipulation of the truth. The official version says the police shot the killer in the arm, and then he shot himself in the head: I read that the police shot him in the head, another student shot him, a passer-by shot him...

It's great that we can find stuff out, but it's also scary how much stuff can get twisted, how much stuff can get thrown up...

I was able to read through a copy of the shooter's "vampirefreaks" (whatever that is) profile and he just seemed a normal, lonely, bored guy.

No definite opinion, I love being able to access so much information but am also terrified by the possibilities.

RIP, another casualty of western development and human ignorance, fear... selfishness

Robipedia

Random Stone Effect: A rare flooring effect from B&Q, soon to be the New Floor of the ADH Kitchen. Random Stone Effect is made by literally lumping a load of random stones together and then pouring them onto the required area of floor. This can be mildly dangerous (not reccommended for old folks) but it's also good fun.

Robin And Joey's Room

Our room is a sacred place, to say the least. In fact, I'm thinking of doing a fair bit of literature to publicise it - what with its moderate fame etcetera - but for now I'd like you to read this important message (as found on door 2):

RIGHT DOOR!

However, Joey and Robin would appreciate it if you would

KNOCK

before attempting to enter the room.

“The Benefits of Knocking,” a short poem by R. Mitchell

If you knock
Before opening doors
It alerts others to your presence
And gives them the opportunity
To stop you entering the room
Which they might wish to do
If naked
Or in need of headspace
Or in a private conversation
Or with a Girl
Etcetera

The act of knocking does not necessarily entitle you with permission to enter the room

Nor does the fact that you are a friend or family member

List of people who can enter our room without permission:
• Ghandi
• Angelina Jolie
• Anyone from U2
• Theirry Henry
• Frodo
• “Franky-Frank” Sinatra
• Edmund Blackadder
• Lara Croft
• Mr and Mrs Smith
• Angelina Jolie
• Angelina Jolie’s twin
• The guy that invented cheesecake
• David Brent

Survey

Took that MySpace survey that everyone takes. Missed a lot of opportunities to be funny but was actually quite honest in the process...

apologies

The Pressure Of The L

Learner drivers have a hard time. Personally, as a Learner, I feel pressured whenever another driver is close behind me: this includes when I'm breaking the speed limit by up to 20 (which I never, ever do: speeding is wrong).

Seriously, so many drivers out there need to just cool down. 30 is the speed limit, right? So if I'm going at 30, and you're sticking behind me saying "speed up, speed up," then you need to slow down.

Damn I hate drivers. Especially people who drive silver Rovers, Fords... heck, silver cars generally. They shouldn't be allowed to have horns in their cars.

As soon as I get rid of my L plates (i.e. pass my test - well done, you're on form today) I'm gonna drive at 10 mph below the speed limit. Unless the limit is 10. I'll cruise at 5 in these sorts of situations.

Birds of Britain

Just watch it

Music!

I think most of this is from the last two years: my Top 20 Most Played Songs on iTunes

Does this say a lot about me? Well, not really. I'm not the only one that listens to music on my PC, I don't only listen to music on my PC, and this only counts songs that are played from start to finish. I might not have been in the room for all listens.
Regardless though, they are definitely all songs I've listened to a lot in the last two years:

A Note To Young Bloggers

Read over what you write

Most of my shorter posts are rushed and unconsidered. Even my longer posts are written without any form of planning, and are only briefly skim-read before posting. This can be bad, as you can end up writing things that sound... well, Un-PC is one option but more often than not it's just downright silly.
For example:

"I won a game involving four other housemates and a high stake (cups of tea in bed)."

I now feel the urge to add that "cups of tea in bed" is not how it sounds: it is the purely innocent offering of person A taking person B a cup of tea while person B is in bed.

Remember my words, all ye

Robipedia

Cbox: Comment-box, or Completelypointless-box, for You (the reader) and Me (the writer) and Everyone Else Too, to leave comments in. More IM than "post a comment," and far simpler for you to get your heads around.

Cboxes

Another thing: don't you hate Cboxes that pop up in your face all the time and never do anything and are annoying?

Arguments

Don't you hate people who can't argue properly? Like, instead of providing evidence or a decent point they just go "You're wrong" or "you don't know anything" or start insulting you? And thing is, most of them think they're actually winning an argument by going "Duuuuuh, mesoclever, stupid" and then falling over, or whatever it is they do.

Point is, if you argue with me you're wrong.

Robipedia

Poker: Get a stick and go find your first (female) victim. It's great!

Rob Hold'em

I am KING OF (AMATEUR) POKER as well as the Blogosphere.
I won a game involving four other housemates and a high stake (cups of tea in bed). Now I am half way through (the game is on hold) a game that I dominate by over £100 000. Mwahaha.

To Reiterate

Don't burn wood, burn faggots

Apocalyptic Poetry

Mother asked me to read a small section from "The Apocalyptic Pastor" by Eugene Peterson, and to comment on the opinion it gives: that Pastors need to rediscover poetry, as poetry is how much of scripture is written and, more importantly, poetry is a way of creating as well as conveying or interpreting.
I must say that I wholeheartedly agree: Pastors, and the rest of the world, need to rediscover poetry in a dramatic way. All that I have left to add is this:

Happy Birthday
And long may you wear
That thing
You used
To wear
And now for dinner

Cbox

Reintroducing the Cbox (in pop-up form)

Mwahaha

Rex Kwan Do

Mr Clippy

A Challenge

I was just sitting around, like I do, and I thought of this amazing idea: make a website to a "celebrity" who doesn't actually exist, and get this person famous.

In my head I envisioned a sixty-something Mexican with a monster moustache. I'm starting the website soon, then a MySpace etc., but I want him to get loads of publicity.

I need three basic things:
A name [update: my favourite I've thought of is "Pedro Sanchez, Mexican Man of Mystery"]
An image
And... er... something else

I have plenty of ideas, but how 'bout you guys? Suggestions?

Poetry

For Jack Pflug, who is yet to realise just how... er... "meterosexual" he is.

I have no hair
But that's ok
I want a hare
Because I'm gay

More to follow.

Robipedia

Reterosexual: Apparently the opposite of "meterosexual." Which, forgive me if I'm wrong, = straight.

What strange things we do with our language. And when I say "we," I mean those idiots that make up silly words.

I Converted My Philosophy Class With Muffins

Well, I didn't convert them all. Or any of them. But I sure told 'em that God loves them, and they told me they loved the muffins, so that's one in the bag for The Lord.

Atheists 0 - Christians 1 and a whole year of fun yet to follow.

The Thomas Anderson Conspiracy

You've all seen the Matrix. Thomas Anderson (Neo) is The One, the man who can break the rules, do the funky shizzle, save the humans in the Real World. But there is a Thomas Anderson living among us, networking people, filtering information... Thomas "Tom" Anderson.

Can we trust him?

Ums and Ahs (Thought For The Day) (Not Hmm)

I noticed at church that a certain speak put Ums and Ahs in every sentence in quite a methodical manner. Not only is this mildly distracting but it is sincerely odd. However, the speaker in question is not the only person I've noticed this attribute in. Indeed, many people when not warmed-up or when nervous tend to throw in "ums," "ahs," "justs," "reallys" and other fillers in a totally methodical fashion, for example "Um I just really think yes that this is how we should um just really yes do things."

Robipedia

Straight: A straight, as I discovered on Saturday, is not the same as a Flush but in fact the same as a Run. Hence you have a Straight Flush, not a Straight Run.
For those of you unaware of what I'm talking about, it is cards (specifically poker). Having played far too much already of late, I'm determined to double how much I play and get really good so that I can trick people out of their money.
Anyway, part of the learning process involved being corrected on my terminology (I always thought a Straight was a Flush (well actually, I thought a Straight was a heterosexual but apparently that's no longer true)). You see, a Flush is where all of the cards are in the same suit but not in any particular order, whereas a Run (or indeed a Straight) is where all of the cards are in order but not necessarily in the same suit. A Straight Flush, therefore, is where all the cards are in order and in the same suit, and if you get that you've been cheating because it's a flipping good hand.

Re-Entering The Blogosphere

OK, it's been a day or two (if that) but it feels like longer. It was actually incredibly refreshing not to turn my computer on all weekend.
And what a great weekend it was! The wedding was fantastic, the reception was amazing, the post-reception poker at 1am was great too. The church services were also really helpful and enjoyable (despite the fact that I was incredibly tired), and Hadrian's Wall reunion lunch was... er... emotional.
Busy weekend, then.

And This One Is For Barrie Bear...

agua

agua

AGUA

Thank you, Thank you

I really am here all week

How To Loose A Girl In 5 Ways

Well, many of you know me as the master of relationships, particularly dramatic endings, so I thought I'd write my little "how to" on splitting up with your girlfriend.
This is for those of you that want a clean break with no mess and no upset. Here are the top five methods to end said relationship:

1. Kill Her Father
Most girls love their fathers. You don't want to hurt her by dumping her, so instead just kill the other most important man in her life and she'll probably dump you instead! Easy!

2. Kill Her Mother
Mothers are very important people, and most girls realise this even if they don't always appreciate it. Killing a girl's mother is another great way to make your point: "I don't want anything more to do with you." I see it as more than just a metaphor, but like... a visual demonstration.

3. Kill Her Children
If she doesn't have children then pets, younger siblings, neighbours' children etc. will do

4. Kill Her
This is the one way to make sure she really gets the message. Plus, if you do it right, it can be totally painless and mess-free

5. Kill Yourself
If all else fails, you've got nothing left to lose...

Gosh

Do you ever get it when it's like "woah, it's totally six a.m., I don't have to get up for another three hours LOL"?

Idiot

Hmm

Do you ever get it when you think "Hmm, I just posted my "musical life-story" on my blog, maybe that wasn't such a good idea?"

Or "Hmm, why do I keep a blog anyway?"

Or "Hmm, why do all my posts begin with "Hmm"?"



No? Just me then...

Business

I'm afraid I probably won't be on five posts a day this weekend as it looks very busy:
sound at Richard and Katie's wedding, followed by the wedding party, reception etc. Then guitar at Woodies both services, sandwiching (pun intended) a lunch with the Hadrian's Wall guys...
gosh.

Robipedia

Triple English: Evil. Just pure evil.


Did I already say that?

Oh, The Blogosphere

I love bloggers.

Cuz, I mean, we are so silly aren't we? What a silly past-time.

*sighs happily*

RE: The Post Below (with the animals)

From Maddox: a great campaign to eliminate vegetarianism

...what I've decided to do is sponsor a vegetarian! It's easy and spiteful, and
we all know how much fun spiting people is! I'll explain..

What does it mean to sponsor a vegetarian? It means that you have to find someone in your life who's a really big pain in everyone's ass every time you want to go out to eat, and then you commit yourself to eating THREE times the amount of meat you'd normally consume to make up for all the meat that your vegetarian buddy isn't eating. It's that simple! That way, you can reverse the guilt trip that they've been laying on us for years by not only neutralizing their cause, but making it actually worse by eating more animals than would have ever been eaten had they not chosen to become vegetarians!

OJ

EVERY TIME I get a fresh carton of Orange Juice some muppet drinks it straight away and whenever I want a nice cool glass of juice... there's none left!

OJ-Drinker, I will find you and destroy you. You have been warned.

For Everyone Not Yet A Maddox Fan...

spread the cause

Read:

This Blog (start with this post)
Just the most recent few posts.

It's damn funny, partly on purpose, and partly not. I found the blog through a friend of a friend (of a friend?)'s blog and thought it was a good read. However, the recent topic - a list of things the writer finds unattractive in women - is both hilarious and a little outrageous. Honestly, if I was a red-hed Australian chick I would slap this guy bigtime.

Robipedia

Bacon Surprise: Bacon Surprise (BS) is a meal cooked by Richard Whiting, (soon-to-be-ex)resident or Ashley Down House. It consists of Bacon, Pasta, Pesto and whatever else the chef chooses (hence "Surprise"). This meal was once a favourite; now that Richard has cooked it almost exactly once every two weeks for the residents it has lost some of its treat-appeal. However, it is still very enjoyable and no doubt after a brief respite - when Richard leaves - the recipe will be continued, to the enjoyment of all.

Timetable

Just got mine.
It's awful! I spend almost all my time in school, doing lessons... and I have TRIPLE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. Seriously, if ever hell was to appear on earth...

The one good thing is that I don't have any twighlight lessons.

The Ninth Story

Henry's Story by Henry Roger-Jones

once upon a time there was an ugly little baby called Agnus Goncka Bajonca, her mother did not like that name much but because the baby looked a little bit gobliny however, The Doctor (David Tennant) told her that this condition was scientificly refered to as "ugly Gonck" syndrome so the name stuck. when Little Agnus Gonca Bajonca went to school she was teased by all the other boys and girls: "ha ha" they used to say "you look like a goncky goblin girl, and you name is Agnus Gonca Bajonca!! how funny!!". this made little agnus very upset, so she decided to dedicate her entire life to evil, and indulged in evil activitys like kicking kittens, screaming loudly and setting fire to peoples hair. later in life her farther died, and on his deathbed he said to her "agnus, your mother didn't realy want you to be called Agnus Goncka Bajonca, she wanted you to be called Mother Tereasa of Calcutta, but i wouldent let her because you cant call a baby "Mother". (i know it's one scentence too many but...) and so Agnus Gonca Bajonca became Mother Tearasa of Calcutta and dedicated her life to good, because its not about what you look like, but what your called thats important.

Robipedia

Peter Crouch: Footballer. Tall, scores goals. Trips over his own feet.

My Life Story (for those that couldn't be bothered to hit the website or didn't have time in the hour or so since I posted)

Robin Mitchell is the subject of much controversy - or would be if he was famous and lots of people listened to him - because he says a lot of silly things, very few of which are true, without any regard for audience, timing or situational appropriateness. It is suggested that you read the following with this fact in mind (considering that Robin is writing it - I, in fact, am he (but I prefer the third person)) and be prepared to accept anything written as true, false, ridiculous or possbily any of the above.

Let's begin at the beginning then: I have just finished recording the album Free Dreams, my third, and plan to go into the Simple Sound studio (run by Stew Ford) to re-record "The Good Enough? EP." After that I will release a compilation of all my best tracks and hopefully follow an easy road to greatness. But seriously now, let's begin at the beginning.

I began playing the guitar very briefly at the tender age of eleven (I had previously played the violin for about two years beginning when I was five, but I swiftly forgot all of that) for about four months. During this period I persuaded my father to buy me an electric guitar by convincing him I would take lessons when I began secondary school. My reasons for wanting to learn on an electric are simple: as a very fasion-aware child (and that awareness, by the way, has stayed with me) I knew that they looked so much cooler than acoustic guitars.

A few months of "lessons" into secondary school I realised that my guitar teacher was a bit of a numpty and stopped playing as fast as I could. It wasn't until December 2002, by which time a love of music (such bands as U2, The Beatles, Nirvana, Muse and the likes) was birthed inside me, that I picked up the Pacifica again. Inspired by my friend Fintan, who had begun lessons at the same time as me back in the good old days, I began jamming such classics as "Wild Thing" and a bunch of worship songs. Soon guitar had become more than just a hobby: it was an addiction. There was a point in the first year, once I had cracked doing barre chords, that I was playing for between three and four hours a day. I began playing "lead" guitar at my youth group, and I also got into a "band" of sorts, with some church friends: Sam, my best mate at the time, played guitar with me (in the loosest sense of the words "played guitar"). Aidan, now all-funkin' bassist of Protege Plan, played bass (again, really truly in the loosest sense of the term) and a friend a couple of years younger than us called Joel played the drums. He was actually quite good.

When that band died I spent some time jamming with a group of friends in school. When I say "jamming," I mean that everyone tried to play their instruments as loud and fast as they could with no regard for how the overall thing sounded, or for what anyone else was playing. This frustrated the budding musician in me, and I would frequently walk out of these sessions in disgust. When these sessions ended I was alone: I began advancing my soloing techniques influenced by the likes of Pink Floyd's David Gilmour and Muse's Matt Bellamy. The "Plug In Baby" riff, that every beginner guitarist wants to learn, was indeed one of my proudest conquests, doubly so as - unlike all the other budding guitarists - I also knew the chords.

The early days were eventful but in a "oh-look-we're-all-rubbish" sort of way. The middle days, when I began to get quite good at guitar, were very boring. However, it was in these "middle days" that I began writing songs with more sincerity(I had written a couple for my "band," but they were as bad as the people I played with (and me, more to the point). The middle days matured in the summer of '04, when an old friend (Josh Kingston, currently recording as Joash Ki) spent a week staying with us and he, myself and my sister took to the basement to record "Bassed: When We Were Bored." While this was by no means a monumental record, it was more than a monumental moment. My first attempt at recording (I recorded, edited and produced the whole thing), a good opportunity to show off my lead guitar skills and more importantly a couple of attempts at singing. This record inspired a confindence in me to sing (much to the shock and horror of all, particularly my roommate Joey) and in the years leading on I evolved from being an "electric guitarist" to a "musician" - I can play pretty well anything (within reason) by ear; I can make pretty noises on pretty much any instrument; I write and arrange amazing songs and most of all...

Some may notice that I like to leave sentences unfinished ("making-sense-of," "the_great_and"). Many put this down to a general oddness of character: I, however, blame an abrubt upbringing.

In the second half of 2006 I have recorded three CDs (one of which was, quite frankly, bloody awful) and have over 70 finished songs on my hard-drive. Each CD has seen improvement in arrangment, production and musicianship: most notably my vocal abilities have improved drastically with Free Dreams. All this points towards great things for the future (if only I could get some decent recording equipment... or a record deal). As for the music, I love it but it is not the only thing in life. If music isn't the way for me to go I am open to other directions, whatever God wills: I will, however, keep writing, playing and recording songs as long as I am capable: I absolutely love it.

Ode To Peter Crouch

He's tall and slim
He gets the goals in
But is he any good?
The subject of much controversy,
I much prefer having Shrek
Why do we always get the oddballs?

The Life And Times Of Robin Mitchell

Some may notice that I like to leave sentences unfinished ("making-sense-of," "the_great_and"). Many put this down to a general oddness of character: I, however, blame an abrubt upbringing.

New addition to my website: a musical autobiography. It's very good (I'd know, I wrote it) and moderately informative.

 

Actually, the website has undergone a lot of maintenance recently so I suggest you check it out to make sure it was worth it.

Eugh

I'm not a late sleeper, but I'd forgotten what 7.30am looks like.

The annoying thing is, I didn't have to go in 'til 12.

Hitch

Just watched Hitch.
Much bettter than I expected - stylish, fun but also morally grounded and even poetic at times.
What was more interesting than the film, though, was the fact that I managed to dislocate all the bones in my left hand, and had to repeatedly punch things to "unclick" them. It really hurt.

Next Year

School starts again tomorrow, for the last time...

everything is gonna change real quick.

That's exciting, but in a "woooaaah" kind of way.

I wonder how quickly next year will fly by...

Robipedia

Joey: To some, Joey is seen as a supernatural being; to others, a monster; to others still he is just an ordinary boy.
Most of Joey's hero status comes from the fact that he is the brother of the incredible Robin Mitchell (wait, that's me), but some of it is derived from his ability to lift cement trucks with his left hand and his psychic ninja skills.

It Is... Er... Finished

I think I've written about fifty posts with that title.
Wow.
Anyway, it's finished. Over with. Completed. Copies available now.
I'm shattered.

Times Change, People Change...

...CDs change. I will hopefully (for you guys, not me) stop talking about recording soon as I will have finished (and what with all this "school work" nonsense I won't be able to start again).

Anyway, a few of the skits have changed (and I'm still unsure as to whether to include a couple of the songs) but I did record today after all and now only have two songs left.
TWO SONGS.
I HAVE RECORDED 18 SONGS.
THAT'S CURRENTLY 51:58 MINUTES OF MUSIC
CONSIDERING I'VE SPENT FLIPPING AGES DOING IT, THAT'S NOT VERY LONG

Robipedia

Poker: A game designed that men may trick money out of one another. Pure, unadulterated evil (and jolly good fun... odd how the two so often go together [what, women and control freaks] ahaha)

...

Free Dreams

I am so tired, I've come over very lethargic... I think it's a good five days of intensity that's caught me up. The reason I say this is because I really can't do any recording today despite my wish to finish the album by Wednesday.

However, I've compiled "Free Dreams - Advance EP" which can be made available to anyone who wants a copy. It contains the following five tracks:

1. Out Of Control
2. Too Much
3. Torn Apart
4. Who Cares For My Soul
5. (Another) Beautiful Day

It will be an interim of sorts... hopefully Free Dreams (the real thing) will still be done in the next week or two - I only have three songs left, after all. However, for those that are really eager (me) this is the thing for you.

fire!

The Eighth Story

Tina's Story by Tina Mitchell

Once upon a time there lived an old, old lady who knew she was nearing the end of her long, long life. As she sat, she pondered with deep, deep thoughts about the joys and sorrows she had known. 'but I am glad I have lived.' She concluded.

Robipedia

Drumming: A sick tradition in rock and roll whereby dead animal skins are stretched over metal frames and beaten with sticks. Used to invoke Satan or similar.

The Seventh Story

Matt's Story by Matt Bennett

Once there was a spiteful child trying to encroach on his siblings birthday.Timothy was 7 that day.
The candles were still smouldering from the torrent escaping his mouth.
"Mine!" The struggle resumed. Battling, his mother took them by the scruff but could not follow through with her exclamations.

Random Cone Man

I got a very bad sleep last night... also I woke up an hour earlier than intended: seven o'clock. Well, imagine my surprise when I looked blearly out of the bathroom window into the misty Sunday morning and saw a silver-haired, balding man in a biker jacket carrying a traffic cone half-concealed (the cone, not the man) by a bin-liner. Bizarre! He just walked into my life (below the window) and out of it again in a couple of minutes, but boy was it revolutionary. For example, I will now... er... salute fifty-something bikers carrying cones.

Random Cone Man, I salute you.

The Sixth Story

Jack Barrie's Obscurity by Jack Barrie

Once upon a time in the west country, a young man by the name of Maxillian Ziegfried-Dorchellione Berruzzi-Sprinkelle-van Basten-Yummi-Siefried-Bruckner Bach (Dont even ask about the Parents. Too many to name) was sitting and wondering and wondering why he was sitting. He sat and wondered and wondered and sat but nay, to no avail could he imagine what he was doing. Suddenly and without mercy thought ballon appeared and told him that he infact had split personality disorder and all 10 of his names had their own personalities. [editor's note: at this point the story transmitted turned to visual static and the rest came out as something like this] kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The Fifth Story

Pauline's Portrait by John Stevens

Once there was it
And Pollux, the perplexed, despaired.
So, scalpel in hand, he
Scraped and slashed
'til Pauline from the ghastly slap appeared

Usually confined to Chilean mahogany
Pollux took the jelly baby to the blade
Pauline, blood red, but beautiful, stood tall
(well short really)

My Amazing Idea

Do you ever get it when you have an amazing idea... and then you completely forget it?

Damn!

...

Of course it's not meant to be serious

Silly

How To Be The Best Guitarist In The World... Without Really Trying

Written for Ultimate-Guitar but turned down! The cheek!

Let me start by introducing myself. I came across UG about three years ago as a beginner guitarist and a total newbie. I got a fair few tabs and one or two lessons off here, as well as uploading a couple of each of my own.
I haven't used UG for a good two years or so because I am now an amazing guitarist - in fact, I'm the best guitarist in the world.

Let me explain: being the best guitarist isn't all about how fast you can play. I used to spend hours trying to work out how people played so damn fast. Want to know? Practice. There is no technique. Play as fast as you can, and then try and play faster. Play for half an hour, an hour or two hours... if you got time. You don't need to become a no-life "virtuoso" who actually has no friends because he just spent the last ten years practicing scales and sweep-picking ten hours a day in his room.

But I digress. I actually think that UG is a great resource. Personally, the ability to play by ear means that I have no use for tabs. But when you're starting off it's great to have songs straightforward and written out for you. Moreover, you can always pick up things from the smart guys that write articles.

OK, so that's me and UG. Now what about guitar playing? Let me tell you straight off that there is no single Best Guitarist In The World. Sure, I claimed that it was me, but I was kidding. You are as good as you want to be and as good as your creativity allows. The ability to sweep-pick while standing on your head is cool, but doesn't necessarily mean... well, actually, I'd love to be able to do that. Wouldn't you? If anyone here can sweep-pick whilst standing on his head then dude, what I said earlier, I take it back. You are the best guitarist in the world.

But anyway...

Twenty-first century guitarists have a lot to live up to. All the great innovators, from Berry through Hendrix to Van Halen to Vai... they've explored the limits of what you can do with the physical instrument. Newer guitarists are toying around with effects and sounds more and more, but the truth is you've got to stop worrying about breaking new ground. Neither Berry nor Hendrix nor Van Halen nor Vai were the best guitarists in the world. What they did was great but who's to say we can't be as good?
It's all about creativity. If you use your imagination, rather than trying to get as many notes per second as you can, your guitar-playing abilities will soar. More to the point, you will sound INTERESTING.

Allow me to sum up this lengthy ramble with a conclusion, followed by a list of pointers. What I am saying is: practice hard and you will become good. When you are good, you can become the best by using your imagination, and hey - your imagination has no limits, right?

Now some do's and don'ts:

-Guitar solos are great, right? WRONG! Instrumentals are great, and if the guitar is the lead instrument then awesome! Guitars rock. Mindless ten-minute show-off nonsenses are boring. It doesn't matter how good you are, I am bored, stop.

-Power chords can be powerful - of course, hence the name. But they are not the only thing there is to rhythm playing. Moreover, you don't NEED them. If you take out the power chords and move up to the mid-range, or try filling out with some riffs, you will give the piece a far more rich and interesting sound. Leave the bass to carry the song.

-Effects rock. Don't be afraid to layer them up - it doesn't mean you are a bad guitarist, especially not if you use them creatively.

-Know when to stop. The best guitarists are the ones who can put down the guitar and walk away. I need to learn this myself.

-You are better than him. Don't be disheartened if someone appears to be faster or better, just practice harder and then murder him in his sleep. And poison his wife and kids, for good measure.

-Play loud (but not too loud). Guitars sound a thousand times better loud. But you also need to be able to hear everything else (apart from flutes - if you're in a band with a flautist then fire the flautist and bring in some belly-dancers or something. They don't make much noise, either).

There are thousands more things I could say but you children know what to do when to do it and probably more besides. So, from the Best Guitarist In The World, Goodnight... and Good Luck.

Free Dreams!

Score!

Nah seriously right, I've recorded the title track to my album. The End Is In Sight! We're Cooking On Methylated Spirits! I Already Used That One!

I'm so pathetic.

Anyway, Free Dreams is surprisingly good! I wrote it with a vague melody in my head, imagining it to have a dreamy, drifting backing track... it's actually the tightest, hottest song thus far. The best drumming I've ever recorded by a long way, and a fairly interesting - though very short, of course - guitar solo.
Speaking of guitar solos, ^ here's an article I wrote on UG. It got rejected, for some reason.

The Fourth Story (now we're cookin' on meths... wait...)

Kathryn's Story by Kathryn Lancely

Once upon a time, there was a young gentleman Ninja called George McGrall. He was half scottish and half Icelandic. He was as cool as a cucumber and as wise as an owl. His favourite past-time was to join Christina Ricci from Sleepy Hollow and other films, for some refresher sweeties and a game of croquet. One time, they were playing said game of croquet when sadly Ms Ricci as she liked to be known fell ill BUT quick thinking Ninja boy put her to bed with her daily dose of teenage mutant ninja turtles (one of their faves) on television in the background, which made her regain her strength and made everything well again.
THE END

The Third Story

A Short Story of Seafood – by Lucy Meek

I once sat in a noisy French restaurant, looking with bewilderment at the dish that was presented to me - what I initially thought was a tasty yet deceased plate of seafood appeared to be moving. Looking over at another table I could see a French man noisily cracking open his live meal, slurping down the contents of each shell. I heard a ‘suck-suck-suck’ as a lone clam inched along the seaweed to the other side of my platter and began happily feasting away on one of my chips. I’m not a fussy eater, but I don’t expect my food to be blinking at me as I consume it.

Stood Up... By A Bassist!

Protege Plan band practice went ahead to day without Aidan... shocking!

Apparently I "hadn't confirmed that there was a band practice" today!

But I forgive him, bless his little dredlocks.

The Second Story

I had to edit this one slightly...

Rachael's Story by Rachael Lilley
Once upon a time there was a big fat ugly monster named Rachael and small ugly monster called April (but she preferred it when humans of the world called her Ellie). One day Rachael and Ellie carried out their usual daily lunch of eating people in such place that can not be named. but suddenly Rachael decided at heart he was a mindless hippy conformist and so puked all the people back up again and said sorry and sent them on their way.

The First Story

The Butterfly Effect by Joe Harris
Once upon a time a man called Travis Barker lived in London. He went to Italy for a romantic holiday with his girlfriend. SHe introduced him to another man named Michael Caine / Charlie Croaker who was planning something very exciting known as the italian Job. All went to plan and they escaped with the gol BUT then they ended up on a real cliff-hanger (arf arf ). Sadli This time they had the extra weight o Travis' favourite drumstick which toppled them off the cliff killing them all in a blaze of glory and fire, also landing on Avril Lavigne. Somewhere in bristol a yooung former long hair was listening to a song called kill your idols.

end

Doesn't quite keep to the rules Joe, but nice job none-the-less. Thank you.

Robipedia

The Nuclear Fallout Protection Device: An idea of my own (not yet realised by national governments, but my time will come). To save the world from the consequences of a nuclear fallout somewhere, a large concrete slab is suspended above the atmosphere, tied to a sattellite or similar. In event of a nuclear fallout the sattellite is directed above the site using pin-point technology and ultra-fast rockets. The slab is then released to cover the surrounding area (approx 20 square miles).
Genius? I thought so.

My Other Story

Did I keep to my own rules? I don't know, I don't really care... the rules were a sham anyway. Important: if you were directed here by the email, the above statement is a lie. The rules are fundemental to the perfection of your story. Once again, good luck.

Once there was a man called Geoff. He lived a goodly life as a priest until one Thursday, when he was mightily consumed by Frank the Raging Dragon. Needless to say, Geoff didn't much enjoy the experience, but then again Frank did.

My Story

Once there was a man called A, who lived in a small house in a medium-sized town in a large country. He met a girl called Z, who lived in the house behind his. They talked sometimes, but never for very long. The day after she left forever he decided to talk to her for real... but it was too late.

The Interesting Idea

Some of you will just have recieved an email from me saying something like this:

Hi there folks. Some of you know me, some of you don't. Note: this is almost
entirely indiscriminate, so some of you really won't have a clue who I am! You
just happen to be on my contact list. A special "Hi," and shoutouts to you!

Anyway, it's September already and I've got some time on my hands so I
thought I'd do something incredibly interesting and set everyone in my Contacts
list a Challenge. If you complete it I'd be very honoured - it shouldn't take
too much of your time - and... well, I'll explain.

It's simple as this:
write me a story. It's so easy that I've even given you the words to use (see
below). Then email it back to me, and the first... I dunno... twenty?, maybe
more... will go on my blog (http://making-sense-of.blogspot.com). Your incentive
is simple: making me happy for a few blissful, beautiful minutes. I don't really
know why I'm doing this, but hey!, it's original, and that's what I'm about.
Consider it, if you will, a union of... the spirit of humanity... no, scrap
that. It's just a nice thought. Anyway, here we go. Here are the words you get
to use (you don't have to use them all), anything goes, email me back... and may
the best (wo)man win!



- 10 nouns of your choice (the same noun may be used twice but both are taken out of the total 10)
- "The," "and," "so," "but" - fifteen times in total
- "He," "she," "it" - five times in total
- 3 names (people and place - not counted as nouns)
- Verbs - try to keep with under 10
- 5 adjectives
- Sprinkle a few other words as you see fit. Just to spice it up. I won't be too rigorous.

A few extra rules you weren't expecting:

- No more than 4 sentences
- The last sentence must have a "but" - eg. "He
used to do this but now he does this"
- You don't need to put the "but" in bold (but if it makes you happy you may)
- The story must start with "Once there was" or "Once upon a time." This is non-negotiable.
- Try to limit it to around 40 words.

Thanks for your time, I'm sorry if
this email irritated or annoyed or distracted you in an unhelpful way.


Good luck!

Rob Mitchell
07784027205
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I don't know what came over me, but it's a fun idea, no?

Picture Consequences, More Art Teachers (no!) and Me Being Naughty

I feel very bad. I went to devotion to "support Tom Newton-Smith" (showcase myself/actually do something with my evening) and when I discovered that we were playing Picture Consequences I was very bad and criticised the game exceedingly - admittedly to a good chorus of laughs. What I said should not be repeated here, and what Tom said in reply should not be repeated anywhere, but despite my wrongdoing - and it was wrong of me to be so critical - Picture Consequences still sucks.
I mean it. It's the most pointless game ever. Allow me to commentate your typical game:

"And he's drawn a cowboy hat. Oh, look, he's moved on to the pirate face (you're bored already, admit it)... and now the body - with breasts! Shock horror. He's emitted a giggle. It's really heating up..."
and that's the climax. Past the breasts (unless you want to be incredibly explicit) it's just legs and boots. And what is interesting about that?
"and we come to the end of the session. He's unfolding the paper... still unfolding... damnit, that corner is stuck... and there we are! He's going to laugh, he's going to... wait, no... no, it's just not funny. He sighs half-heartedly and... yes, he's passed it on. WHAT A GAME."

Do you see what I mean? Foolishness, foolishness.

Nothing like our game below hmm?

If I don't have your email address, send it me in the next five minutes. I'm about to do something very interesting.

The Vicious Art Circle

Now, artists - especially art teachers or students (i.e. all of you) - don't take this personally... But here's the deal:

The life of an "Artist":

Pick up a pencil
Learn to draw
Do Art GCSE
Get an A
Do Art A-level
Get an A
Do an Art or Teaching course
Become an Art Teacher so you can teach new Art Students
So that they too can become Art Teachers...
And Teach New Art Students...
FOREVER AND EVER...
AMEN

Sorry, got carried away with the capitals there.

Ahem.

My point is that all Art students ever go on to become is Art teachers, and so on and so forth. So why not just scrap Art as a subject? If there were no Art students there would be no reason for Art to be taught, and the only reason Art is taught is so that there can be a new generation of Art teachers...

Ok I've confused myself now. But you get the picture, surely?

Robipedia

Gandalf: Gandalf is the name of a car insurer from Chepstow. He is sixty-eight years old, gay and balding. He is renown for being the only man in the world without a single friend. Not to be mistaken with Gandalf (wizard), Rincewind (wizzard) or Perran (no friends).

Out Of Control!

Well, what could have been the Pathetic Squeak of the century turned out to be one of my best-recorded vocal performances. I love it! And that's not just the shouty bits... there's some lovely harmony etc. in the soft parts.
Well, Free Dreams is well underway and currently looks like this:

1. PIL
2. Over Pine Mountain (part I) - skit
3. Too Much
4. Aim Too High
5. Throw - skit
6. Out Of Control
7. Heavy Weight
8. When - skit
9. Who Cares For My Soul
10. Over Pine Mountain (part II) - skit
11. Alive
12. Interlude - skit
13. (Another) Beautiful Day
14. Fake Plastic Love

with Torn Apart, Free Dreams, Until I Know, City Life, Fairytale and Another Way Of Talking (all full songs) still to go. Excited? I sure am.

Singer's Dilemma!

I'm recording vocals for "Out Of Control." The chorus has a note in it that I have to really yell to hit properly.
This is the joy of bedroom recording... in a Community House: If I don't quite sing hard enough, I don't hit the note and I just squeak. But I'm still singing loud enough for everyone in the house to hear me. Joy.